Dumb Things We Did As Kids: Bottle Caps

life, childhood

I am going to sporadically post these. I hope you get a chuckle out of them or, perhaps, a wry grin, as you recognize . . . what total ‘lame-Os’ we were.CHILDHOOD BOTTLE CAPS.png

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Dude Where’s My . . . Van?

life

I was meeting my better half (Haha, not my legs, you silly! My wife!) at McDonald’s (for the ambience) when THIS happened. Yes, that is my van up on the hoist. I always feel sorry for vehicles being towed. It must be so humiliating for them especially when the other cars see them.

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Car sentimentality aside,  my van key had unexpectedly refused to turn in the ignition. I rocketed through the five psychological stages of such an occurrence: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Finally, my van being tugged offstage like a decrepit vaudevillian past his prime.

My van was rushed into the ER for, what turned out to be,  a 5-hour surgery (@$150/hr for you math and/or schadenfreude aficionados). New keys, new tumblers, new spleen! Then I just handed over my wallet. As the nice lady shook my wallet over the cash register drawer, I emitted the low groan of the newly impoverished.

My van is no spring chicken, so I guess I should expect things to fail or drop off. Wow, they’re just like us! As the old Dangerfield line goes: I’ve got the perfect second vehicle. A tow truck.