Whatever Happened To . . .

18 06 2017

monolith.png





First World Problems 2

23 05 2017

FIRST WORLD 2.png





London to Brighton

11 11 2009

Awesome movie. Did not know what to expect. It hit the ground running, and never let up. No time wasted on exposition and backstory – the way it was handled allowed the story to flesh out of its own accord. Gritty and harsh, the way I like my movies, this was a bit like Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead in its nightmarish no-exit quality. Not for the squeamish. Fine acting from all the players. And there are some despicable characters. Highly recommended.

 





what brings me out of a movie 2

10 11 2009

What brings me out of a movie is those obviously empty coffee cups. You know the ones I mean. They are in those cardboard carriers, perhaps 4 of them, but hefted with such ease by the character, that you just know that they are empty. The way they just sit there, light as air, immediately takes me out of the movie, unless it is a movie about the coffee industry, and how little they fill the cup up. Then the character passes this faux coffee to other characters, all but tossing them in the air to them, letting them be carried by the breeze to whomever wants them. I’m sorry, but this fallacy must stop. I demand that they fill these cups up. I want to see steam (I know I’ve gone too far now) emitting from the holes of the cup. I want the cups to have a realistic heft, not fall over whenever someone sneezes. Imagine if one of those cups fell to the ground, after the character took a huge slug from it, exposing the character as mentally ill, pretending to drink coffee from an empty cup. I am sure those in the film industry will set me straight, there is a good reason for all this deception and trickery. (Most actors are caffeine intolerant)

I’ll go one further: I want to see steam coming out of the mouth of characters who are in polar regions, such as Antarctica, Greenland, Canada. Talk about something that exposes the fallacy, artifice, and, (sorry, ran out of adjectives) of movies. But that is for another post.





What brings me out of a movie 1

10 11 2009

What brings me out of a movie is when there is a knock at the door, and the door is answered WITHOUT a peek through the peephole to see who it is. I mean, who answers the door without seeing who is there? It’s like Call Display. For doors. Of course, it advances the plot when the door is answered, and the answerer is immediately shot with one of those things that they use to euthanise cattle before slaughter. (I am not unaware of the occasional peephole making an appearance in a movie, a nod to reality. But it only serves to use as an aperture through which the door-knocker can aim a pistol and fire it through the eye of the soon-to-be corpse who does the peeping) It might bring the movie to a premature end if the hero peeped through the peephole, saw who it was, immediately evacuated his bowels, and ran for the nearest Latin American country, never to be seen again, except as a dot on the horizon with worry tears springing from their head. It just smacks of carelessness and laziness that doors are answered in this cavalier manner, especially when the person answering is involved in no less than twelve criminal ventures.