Orders that must be obeyed.
What is it about whistling (and humming) that sets my teeth on edge?
Pet peeves (I know, most of these could be solved through compassion and tranquilizer darts)
- people signing up for multiple machines, otherwise known as the shotgun approach, or, more popularly, being an asshole.
- people who don’t put the weights away. Then I have to help the elderly schlep the 45 lb donuts.
- people who wear inappropriate footwear (Crocs, flip flops, Hunter boots et al)
- people who engage in idle chit chat. Then sit on a bench and engage in same on phone.
- Man, why do I even GO to the gym? Oh yeah, to stay fit.
- people who break up their sets and go all over the gym and get pissed if you change their weights.
- people who make sardonic comments on the gym mirrors (ie: now I can check to see if I’m a vampire, cue fake laughter)
- people who don’t really know how to spot, and just stand there with the first two numbers of 911 pressed on their phone.
- people who slam their weights, or drop them to the floor because they’re angry at their parents/partner/boss.
- couples who work out together, which is fine, in and of itself. But can we do without the displays of affection brought on by the inevitable randiness that lifting heavy objects inspires? Is it any wonder why warehouses are hotbeds of passion?
- Guys who steal weights from my bench press and adds to the squat rack. You know who you are, Mr. too busy to wear gym clothes, I’ll just wear my Carhartts, stinky reflective shirt, and steel toed boots. I know, quite the long name.
- Guys and ladies who fail to wipe the equipment of their DNA. Inhale the musk.
- Guys who like to ‘throw their dick on the table’ and do incredible sets without a spotter and must be rescued from under a pile of gym equipment. Strangled bleating is my cue.
Any others? Feel free to post.
Okay, apropos of nothing, Here’s a list of music I like to listen to when I am working out, either weight training, or running. I am doing a bit less of that since my stupid foot is sending messages to my brain, such as: I’ve had enough of this running lark, throw both of us under a table and get some Stella down your neck mate. Quite sure I don’t know why my foot would have an English accent. This music is motivating, or otherwise puts my head in a proper state by gently punching it, like an old lady at the grocery store does when she sees if the mangos are ripe. As I always say, if I can turn one person onto some of this music, than I’ve done a shite job.
In no particular order:
Protomartyr / The Agent Intellect
Dinosaur Jr. / Give a Glimpse of What Yer Not
Charlatans / Modern Nature
Radiohead / Moon Shaped Pool
Vaccines / English Graffiti
Built To Spill / Untethered Moon
Grimes / Art Angels
Teleman / Brilliant Sanity
Paul Weller / Saturns Pattern
Sleater Kinney / No Cities To Love
Beck / Morning Phase (for the cooldown haha)
Speedy Ortiz / Major Arcana
Foals / What Went Down
Blur / The Magic Whip
Alvvays / Alvvays
any Ty Segall