Getting Lost Before GPS

1 09 2017

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Ah, the heady days of asking locals and hearing, ‘You’re waaaaaay off.’

Or: ‘Make a left where the old church USED to be.’

 

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Fecal Matters

30 07 2017

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Sorry, bit of a poopy theme these days. What can I say? Pooping is the great leveller, as they say. Okay, no one says that but, other than the queen, everyone poops. Colonoscopys are not a picnic but they DO save lives. Get one done if you’re of a certain age, 45 or better.





Indian Scout

29 07 2017

20170617_234930.jpgMy brother in law opened his garage recently and showed me this! Sort of a gift for himself, for living half a century or so.  Even in my profound ignorance of all things mechanical recognized that this was something cool.

He needed lessons since he’d never driven anything with less than 4 wheels! (Bicycles don’t count.) After the crash course, he is out on the road with this machine, but only if there is no sign of rain in the five-day outlook. Given that we live in Vancouver, he will have a very small window of riding indeed!

I’m so proud of my brother in law, who suffered a mild heart attack earlier this year. He decided not to let it define him and indulged a long standing desire: Way to go, Ken!

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When the Drugs Don’t Work

8 07 2017

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Hellergy

28 06 2017

Time to drop the Japanese stoicism.

Hellergy. That’s a new word I made up. Not bad, huh. Making port manteaus are kinda new to me. It’s hard, believe me, to drum up much sympathy for, what is for me, a combo of Hell and a seasonal allergy. I really appear as though I have lost my best friend, with my swollen eyes and other facial areas of neglect.

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To unpack what Hell is, it is itchy eyes, and red eyes brimming with tears,  mucous flowing like water, sneezing in clusters of 8 to 10.

Yup. Did I mention how awful the sneezing is? Ok, I mean, the first four are okay, possibly even pleasurable, in a revelatory and cathartic way. Beyond that, however, it escalates into ‘kill me now’ territory.

No eating, reading, driving, talking, doing anything really. The only cure is anything that puts me to sleep or death (which is a slight increase of that which puts me to sleep.)

It is the peak season for this. Back in January, when I had my hernia surgery, I obsessed that  I’d sneeze my intestines into parts of my body where they didn’t belong. A teachable moment, to be sure. That is, enjoy your non-suffering times, for suffering likes to pop in and have a visit (and often brings knitting).

Sorry about this interlude, just thought I’d share . . . point and laugh if you want, I’m a big boy. You haven’t suffered, you say, and I’m in 100% agreement. This is only a coming attraction, a side trip, a couple of warm up pitches, for what life REALLY has in store for me. And you won’t hear anything about it. Why? Japanese stoicism resumes in three….two…one.

And now, for no particular reason, a picture of the NHL player Zdeno Chara that makes me laugh.

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The Dead Dog

24 06 2017

In my travels, I came upon a dead dog. (Great first line for an epic world-building fantasy) He was lying in the middle of a parking space in Granville Island, an artsy/touristy area of Vancouver that I love to visit and soak up the creative vibes.

I knelt down, trying to remember my first responder abc’s. You know, Airway, Breathing, and the

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third one. Might I need to perform mouth to muzzle? Was a defibrillator nearby? I thought how, upon revival, a dog would be forever in my debt.

However, before being caught inflagrante, the owner, an artist in a nearby studio, appeared. Oh, he does that
all the time, I was told, lies down in random spots. He’s a bit elderly so he is happy to saunter aimlessly. (Like the elderly do on cruise ships!) Then, when he has had enough,  collapses like a puppet whose strings have been cut. (Again, like the elderly) Hence, and you might be able to see it in the photo, the tag around his neck: I AM NOT LOST.

Made my day! I was very happy not to have to spatula a dead dog from the ground. (I think there is an emoji for that) Thanks for reading!





Trophy Life

29 05 2017

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