Records

18 08 2017

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Sex Ed? Pshaw!

13 08 2017

Disclaimer: for mature readers, references to sex and its existence may offend some blog-readers. Clutching of pearls may occur.

I remember this scene quite vividly, as certain events seem to impress themselves into the clay of my brain.

It was recess, and some kids were gathered around in a group looking at something. This would usually indicate that someone had brought an article from home that all the kids would marvel over as one would an early period Rembrandt. There was a strange gravity to the huddled group that day.

Such was the stagnancy of our recesses, I had brought a pair of sunglasses the other day from home (my mum’s) that I had worn and earned myself a meteoric rise to cooldom. This was a necessary boost since I still wore what my mother bought for me and I had a haircut that resembled Dee Dee Ramone’s.
Regarding ‘sex ed’, there was only a dim knowledge, as of a distant country that only existed in atlases. At that point (grade 4 or 5), sex was as remote and unknowable as those tropical islands that had ancient skirmishes that wiped out their entire civilization.

What we had found, were some torn up ‘gentlemen’s magazines’, some of which contained confusing and disturbing images. All the kids were perusing them with interest, turning them around in their hands, as if looking for imperfections.

I distinctly remember one child (a girl in a higher grade, and therefore was secretly in love with) who said in a high piping voice: ‘They’re xxxxing!’ (rhymes with clucking). I felt a weird thrill that was a strange amalgam of fear, shame, and excitement. The word alone (which we saved for special occasions) and its association with these images made its existence all the more unspeakably powerful.

Like pieces of the True Cross, we pocketed these magazine fragments to inspect privately. I did likewise, and they were later turned to mush as they became victims of the washing machine. If my mother found them, she made no indication. Perhaps the trajectory of my life might have changed had she discovered it.

 

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Somewhere I Have Never Travelled . . .

7 08 2017

Somewhere I have never travelled . . .(E. E. Cummings) And possibly never will again. (me)

We were passing through Seattle recently to stay with friends near Tacoma. This is the famed gum wall in Seattle. It is below Pike Place, the epicentre of the Starbucks empire. The gum wall is not to be mistaken with that bridge in Paris that lovers attach padlocks to. It is the same sentiment, though. You may park your Frappacino infused gum here, in the absence of a handy underside of a school desk. Then you may return to it year after year until they need to blast it off in 20 years when it becomes an environmental disaster.

The smell is quite indescribable. Not in a good way. It is situated in a tunnel, that amplifies this smell. The gum wall has been described as the ‘germiest’ such place, possibly by one Niles Crane. Still, such places fascinate and intrigue me. I watched as tourists pass through, hankies over mouths, marvelling at the existence of such a place.Image 2017-08-07 at 1.08 AM.jpeg





Fecal Matters

30 07 2017

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Sorry, bit of a poopy theme these days. What can I say? Pooping is the great leveller, as they say. Okay, no one says that but, other than the queen, everyone poops. Colonoscopys are not a picnic but they DO save lives. Get one done if you’re of a certain age, 45 or better.





Indian Scout

29 07 2017

20170617_234930.jpgMy brother in law opened his garage recently and showed me this! Sort of a gift for himself, for living half a century or so.  Even in my profound ignorance of all things mechanical recognized that this was something cool.

He needed lessons since he’d never driven anything with less than 4 wheels! (Bicycles don’t count.) After the crash course, he is out on the road with this machine, but only if there is no sign of rain in the five-day outlook. Given that we live in Vancouver, he will have a very small window of riding indeed!

I’m so proud of my brother in law, who suffered a mild heart attack earlier this year. He decided not to let it define him and indulged a long standing desire: Way to go, Ken!

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Well, It’s Good For the Soil

26 07 2017

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New Yoga Positions

24 07 2017

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