Pet peeves (I know, most of these could be solved through compassion and tranquilizer darts)
- people signing up for multiple machines, otherwise known as the shotgun approach, or, more popularly, being an asshole.
- people who don’t put the weights away. Then I have to help the elderly schlep the 45 lb donuts.
- people who wear inappropriate footwear (Crocs, flip flops, Hunter boots et al)
- people who engage in idle chit chat. Then sit on a bench and engage in same on phone.
- Man, why do I even GO to the gym? Oh yeah, to stay fit.
- people who break up their sets and go all over the gym and get pissed if you change their weights.
- people who make sardonic comments on the gym mirrors (ie: now I can check to see if I’m a vampire, cue fake laughter)
- people who don’t really know how to spot, and just stand there with the first two numbers of 911 pressed on their phone.
- people who slam their weights, or drop them to the floor because they’re angry at their parents/partner/boss.
- couples who work out together, which is fine, in and of itself. But can we do without the displays of affection brought on by the inevitable randiness that lifting heavy objects inspires? Is it any wonder why warehouses are hotbeds of passion?
- Guys who steal weights from my bench press and adds to the squat rack. You know who you are, Mr. too busy to wear gym clothes, I’ll just wear my Carhartts, stinky reflective shirt, and steel toed boots. I know, quite the long name.
- Guys and ladies who fail to wipe the equipment of their DNA. Inhale the musk.
- Guys who like to ‘throw their dick on the table’ and do incredible sets without a spotter and must be rescued from under a pile of gym equipment. Strangled bleating is my cue.
Any others? Feel free to post.