We’ve all heard the saying: The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. But how about: the more dogs I meet, the more I need to carry that anti-bacterial hand lotion stuff. So often, when you met a dog, it will lick or nuzzle your hand. Or, you will stroke its fur which can sometimes be in an unwashed state. You will stroke its seemingly clean fur, and your hand will come away smelling like its been stuck up the wrong end of a skunk. Then you have to walk with your hand extended away from the trunk of your body, like you have just performed a pre-surgery scrub.
I suppose that the drift of the original saying is that people are so annoyingly unpredictable and fickle, that your own dog seems an oasis of sanity and stability. This is false, because I have met some dogs whom I wouldn’t give the time of day to. Nor would they understand, if I did, what with that 7-year old child mentality.
I say, let the saying be amended to: The more people that I meet, the more I feel about the same about my dog. It really smacks of general laziness to adhere to such a negative attitude as that the original saying conveys. People can be a handful, but have you ever extended a hand to a seemingly friendly dog? Next thing you know, you are putting globs of Polysporin over gaping wounds.
How about: The more people I meet, the more that I know. It leaves dogs completely out of the equation. Not exactly what I’d want to put on my bumper sticker, true. If it’s cleverness you want, how about: The more people that I meet, the greater the proportion of people that I know, compared with dogs. See? I have repurposed that saying nicely, and reintroduced dogs into it, in a most suitable fashion. Perhaps you have some sayings of your own that you, too, would like to, well, refurbish. Keep me posted.